The Crimson Army: Recruitment Story

May 5, 2008 at 3:29 am (Short Story, The Crimson Army Chronicle, Writting) (, , , )

I’ve been thinking about doing a serialized story on a blog for a while now, something that I will up date every week or so until I get a full story out of it. I typed this just as a warm up for the day but decided that I could really expand upon this, I really like the character telling the story and Crimson Dawn (Mandy Moore *drool*). I wont lie this is inspired by the Venture Brothers, however I wanted to take the Henchmen idea into a different angle. Make it a bit more serious (just a bit) and give it a bit more depth. Anyways enjoy the first part of The Crimson Army: Recruitment Story.

          “I want them dead” that’s all my boss ever says to me. He’s a huge dick but that’s probably why he’s the leader and I’m just a lowly henchman. Christ I can’t believe I’m actually working for the Crimson Specter, how the hell did my life turn out this way? I was just your everyday average drug pushing schmo, the guy you usually saw in front of the local McDonalds pushing “Confections”. How am I in a super villains employment wearing spandex fighting other people in spandex who are usually more powerful them me?

          It was 1999 when I was recruited by Crimson Dawn, the Specter’s right hand woman and between you and me I’m pretty sure he’s sticking it to her. She’s really hot for an evil heartless bitch, just think of Mandy Moore in a black spandex number with a crimson stripe hugging her curves and you have Dawn. I really don’t see what she sees in a man like the Specter, granted the guy is pretty awesome for an evil dude but he treats her like shit.

          I remember the day I was recruited, I was standing in front of Burger King, expanding my market when this van, we’re talking an 86 ford, pulls up and out comes like ten or fifteen people all in Crimson spandex being shouted at by Dawn.

          “Okay people we have thirty minutes to get in and get out, you have a ten dollar limit anything over is coming out of your pockets… um Paychecks. I realize that your suits aren’t equipped with pockets. Make sure that you’ve gone to the bathroom and cleaned up there is no more brakes until we get to the Silver Falcon’s Citadel. The Specter was quite insistent that we hit the place at 17 hundred hours on the dot”.

          The way the woman commanded the henchmen was, well it was a turn on I mean a lady in spandex being all bossy like, how could it not be? It was shortly after her orders when she looked at me and smiled. It was an enchanting smile, very seductive… and now I know very misleading. She approached and handed me this business card out of… well I have no clue where.

          “Hello, I’m Dawn Barkowski or as I’m known in the organization Crimson Dawn, commander of the Crimson Squad and second in command to the Crimson Specter. Have you heard of us?” Have I heard of them? Gawh they have only been the biggest threat to the Protectors of America since 95 when they almost killed Immortal Solomon.

          “Um… Yea, I saw you guys on the local news” I played it cool, everyone hates a fanboy.

          “Very good, then you know what we do. I’m just going to say this, we are looking for more willing bodies for the Crimson Army. To spread the word of our leaders glorious message of world peace through world domination. There are benefits to joining the Crimson Army such as full coverage health and dental insurance for you and family, 401k program, three weeks of paid vacation a year, and paid living expense. Plus there is a 3k signing bonus and if you were so inclined the Crimson Army would pay for college if you wish to go after a four year enrollment.”

          “I didn’t know henchmen had so many benefits” I couldn’t help but feel awe at what all she said.

          “Henchmen have a strong union” Something about this woman made me think that working for a super villain would bet a good idea.

          “Sold! When do I start?” Okay it was the spandex that had me, hers and the ones that I hoped I’d get issued.

          “Now, go in get something to eat and we will fill out the paper work tomorrow” Dawn grabbed me by the shoulder and escorted me in where I got a triple whopper and a milkshake. Just a side note if you ever get recruited into an evil organization and are about to storm a good guys citadel… avoid the fatty foods. Trust me on this one, the side cramps will get to you.


To be Continued in The Crimson Army: My First Assault or Silver Falcon BEWARE!













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